I know it seems sudden but that is because I only recently decided. In fact, I just decided a few minutes ago…Candice doesn’t even know yet.
You see, I will be coming into a large sum of money soon. A million dollars to be exact. What will I do with a million dollars? Um, try this: Not staying here. (Look, I know I joined the facebook group about not hating West Memphis…whatever. That was before I was so loaded with crazy bling and benjamins.)
How am I receiving this life changing fortune? Funny you should ask. As it turns out, fate has a way of righting life’s wrongs. I have been a victim of scams. The Central Bank of the United Nations has decided completely randomly to give 1 million dollars to 150 victims of scams. Now I was never scammed out of a millions dollars and there are literally millions of victims of scams all over the globe, but for some reason this seems like a good way of redressing the problem. Or so thinks John McDonald.
It really is great. All I have to do is send all my personal information to this high ranking UN official at his Yahoo email address and he will make sure that I get what I have coming to me. Gotta love John McDOnald.
If you want to read the good news, or email John or even call his perfectly legitimate international phone number, then read the following email.
– DEAR FRIEND,(SCAMMED VICTIM FOR YEAR 2000-2008)REF/PAYMENTS CODE: ZEB/06654 $1,000,000.00USD:This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims who have proof that they were scammed from the year 2000 to 2008.We have been instructed to release payment of US$1,000,000 USD (One Million U.S Dollars) each to these victims. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as you receive this mail for the immediate payments of your $1,000,000.00USD compensations funds to you.Email us your contact information including your Names, complete address and occupation including your direct mobile telephone number and a copy of your valid identification for recogntition.As soon as we receive your correspondence we will begin the release process of your compensation funds of US$1M to you without delay either through wire transfer,Draft payments of through online banking system pending your own choice mode of payment.Thanks for your cooperation and your quick response will be highly appreciated for quick and immediate release of this outstanding payment of US$1M to you without further delay.Yours Faithfully,Mr. John McDonald(2000-2008 SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATION PAYMENTS).Call me on +234-802-796-7256 for details and clariffications as regards to the release of this payment to you immediately.
I hope you are happy for me. Send me a card and tell me about it. But do it quick, I just booked tickets out of this joint.