Thoughts on Modesty

Doug McHone at had an excellent post on modesty today.

Now that I’m old enough that no teenage girl would ever look at me, except to mock the old fat guy, I thought I’d throw in just a bit of fashion advice. You see, my body may be in it’s 30’s, but my eyes are still 16 and from what I gather, they will remain that old until I pluck them out. Let me give you just a little background.

I work right across the street from the fanciest mall in central Iowa. Since this is the mall that is attracting all of the cutting-edge stores, it is also the mall that attracts the most teenage girls. And since it is on the rich side of town, many of these girls can actually shop there. I eat lunch at the food court of this mall once or twice a week, having an almost overpowering craving for a teriyaki place there. As a result, I place myself in the midst of a group of people with a very materialistic lifestyle.

A majority of the people to frequent this mall are attractive girls and young women and way too many of them wear pants that look like they are painted on with shirts designed to flash their artificially-tanned midriffs. It is extremely common to see an outfit with words in a contrasting color placed in strategic locations on their bodies. Obviously, this is designed to attract the notice of others to that area. Of course, if they were to see you noticing this, you would get an icy glare from them. I say this not out of personal experience, but out of common sense. One aspect of feminism is to flaunt your sexuality while you show your disgust toward anyone who notices your open flirtation. Does this sound stupid to you? Me too.

Last week, a co-worker and I were making our regular run for some teriyaki and as we were watching the guy prepare our meals, I noticed a girl walk by wearing an ankle length denim dress with a slit about to her knee. She also had on a t-shirt that came down below her waistline and had a sensible neckline. I didn’t get much more than a glimpse of her, nor was I gawking, but my friend noticed her as well. He looked at me with that look of approval that guys give after a pretty girl walks by. You know the look even if you would deny it. There were other girls in the area that day and many of them were advertising themselves, but we didn’t give any of them a second look. Why is that?

The modest girl had an advantage over all of the other girls in the food court. She had an attractive face, but not stunning. She looked trim, but so did all of the other girls. Besides, we wouldn’t have had to wonder if the other girls were thin because we knew exactly how thin they were with a glance. What was it about the girl with the skirt that brushed the tops of her shoes that made her stand out? It wasn’t what she was showing, was it?

OK girls. Here’s where you need to pay attention. It’s not often a guy will give you a straight answer on this one.

Here’s the deal. Men have imaginations. Some would say this is a curse of being a man. Others would say that this is just how God made us. I would say that the correct answer is found when you combine these two things. The accuracy of this statement isn’t my point here. All I want to get out in this first statement is the fact that a man’s imagination can fill in the blank spots. And trust me in this, girls. You cannot reveal anything better than what our imaginations can show us. Once you try to compete with our imaginations you have already lost. You are ignoring an aspect of most men that is incredibly powerful, preferring to cheapen yourself in a losing effort to impress us. The more you leave to our imagination, the better off you are.


1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Even though the girls on the magazine covers and on the televisions are scantily clad, and even if all of your friends prefer to leave little to a man’s imagination, allow me to point you in a better direction. It is a direction of seeking your beauty in the meaningful aspects of who you are. No girl wants to be thought of as an object. Girls want to be romanced by a man who loves them for their own sake and who wants to spend time with them for the sake of getting to know them better. At least that’s what I’m told.

Remember, girls. What you win a man with is what you win him to. If you think that flaunting your body at a man will result in him wanting to spend quality time talking with you, you have it all backwards. Do you want to look pretty? Then by all means look pretty. But let your true beauty reside under the surface (see the above verse). Any guy worth your time will recognize that it is there and that it is better than your superficial attributes. Let him fantasize about you and make him resort to his imagination until you are married. You will thank me, and believe it or not, so will he.



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